Have a Seat
Face sitting: exploring vulnerability, trust, and shared pleasure.
I recently came across a survey showing that over 95% of men say they love when their partner sits on their face, while only about 11% of women report feeling comfortable doing it (side note: men are…enthusiastic across the board).
That’s a massive gap — and a missed opportunity for mutual pleasure and a particularly intense form of intimacy.
Many women don’t fully understand or believe men when they say how much they enjoy it. Which is interesting, because men are often very explicit about this preference. There’s no shortage of videos, interviews, and viral clips of men openly stating they would be more than happy to be between a woman’s legs. You may even remember some of the viral moments like these:
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So why the hesitation—especially in the face of this much enthusiasm?
For many women, the missing piece is an explicit invitation. In conversations and interviews I’ve had with women, a common theme came up again and again: we need to know it’s wanted. Many of us struggle with simply receiving pleasure. If we’re not sure our partner is enjoying himself, guilt creeps in and pulls us right out of our bodies.
Step one: men, tell her to sit on your face.
She isn’t afraid she won’t enjoy it—she’s afraid you won’t.
Another common uncertainty is how much weight to use. What men consistently report is that they want to feel her: the weight, the closeness, the mix of sensation—smell, taste, texture. For those feeling nervous, starting with a hover is a great entry point. Men, this is also your opportunity to guide her—hands on her hips, pulling her closer, gradually increasing pressure. That physical cue communicates permission without needing to say a word.
If there’s a headboard, resting your forearms against it can make movement easier and feel less vulnerable than fully leaning back. Without one, leaning back and placing your palms on his hips—or thighs, if that feels more accessible—offers support and stability.
This position is often debated when it comes to female climax. Some days it works effortlessly; other days it doesn’t. Treat each experience as new rather than goal-oriented. I’m personally guilty of chasing outcomes, and ironically, the moments when I let go of that mindset—when I drop into my body and stay present—are when the most intense orgasms happen.
Presence, not performance, is what increases the likelihood of pleasure.
Take the Lead
This position can be harder for your partner to navigate, which gives you the opportunity to guide the experience. You can move your body to position his mouth exactly where it feels best, adjusting speed, pressure, and angle as needed. That level of control often makes the experience more enjoyable and less mentally distracting.
If you feel comfortable leaning back, it also allows him to use his hands more freely and may provide better access to areas that increase sensation. As with anything, experiment and notice what feels right in your body—there’s no single “correct” way to do this.
How Long Should I Stay?
In an ideal scenario, you’ll reach climax and then transition into another position. One of the advantages of this position is that your partner is often physically comfortable for longer periods, which can increase the likelihood of orgasm.
If that isn’t happening—or if you simply feel ready to move on—there’s no obligation to stay. You’re always free to change positions. That said, if you’re dismounting only because you’re worried about his comfort, it’s usually unnecessary.
Men, if you need a break or want to switch things up, take the lead. Hands on her hips, guide her onto her back and continue from there. Doing this with intention and confidence helps her understand that you were enjoying yourself—and that the transition is about momentum, not dissatisfaction.
From there, you can continue while she’s on her back—often an easier position for her to finish—or move into something else entirely.
Want More?
Women respond well to praise and positive reinforcement. If you want her to do this more often make sure you are inviting her, actually tell her to sit on your face. During the act when possible moan, tell her how much you love it, compliment her taste, tell her how sexy she looks, etc. The more feedback the better. The more times she has a positive experience when stretched to her edges the more likely she is to repeat the behavior.
Take It Up a Notch
If you’re ready to add a little more variety, you can reverse the position so you’re facing away from him. Depending on the person, this can feel more—or less—vulnerable. It also changes the angle, which may feel better or different than before. As always, experimentation is the point.
One added benefit is that you can lean forward and return the focus. Having something—or someone—to concentrate on can increase pleasure while taking some pressure off receiving. It’s worth noting that for many women, climax can be more difficult while actively giving. Some people are simply more single-focused and find it challenging to give and receive simultaneously. There’s nothing wrong with that—notice what works for you and adjust accordingly.
You nailed! All three positions work well. So the other 5% of the men, were they not sure or did they not understand the question? I guess there has to be a margin of error or men that don't understand the benefit.